Yeah.  It really has been three whole months since I paid any attention to this blog.

Over on the LibriVox forum, that sort of thing happens often enough that they have an acronym to cover it — RL. Anyone who explains a gap in activity by saying, “Sorry, I got caught up in RL“, is instantly understood. Real Life — it happens to all of us.

We all have an internal sense of what to drop when we are juggling too many things to carry. If I’ve got a purse, some books, and a bag of groceries containing eggs, and something’s going to slip and fall kerplop, I’ll drop the purse or books in order to hang onto the eggs. They’re most likely to be hurt, and the other things can be picked up after I safely set down the eggs.

When RL becomes a juggling act, this blog is what goes kerplop and lies underfoot until more immediately needy tasks have been safely landed.

It’s happened before, and it’ll probably happen again. Eventually, dropped items do get picked up. No harm done, really — maybe just a bit dusty from lying around so long.

Here I am, looking back to last May and considering where I left off and how I might begin again.There’s a gap that seems to require some explanation, some spackling-over. Then again, spackle is useless when the hole to be filled is too wide. Maybe this gap will just have to remain unfilled.

I haven’t actually stopped reading during this gap. I’ve just stopped documenting the reading. In my personal hierarchy of priorities, doing certain things is important — documenting what I do isn’t.

That’s such an important statement that I want to say it again — say it clearly so that it sinks into my thoughts. What I do — day by day, year by year — matters muchly. Documenting what I’ve done doesn’t matter at all in the long run.

People have lost every scrap of their life’s documents — photos, letters, diaries — in floods, fires, and wars. It hasn’t mattered. What has mattered is their lives as lived, their effect on the world and people they touch. What matters is what goes on in RL, Real Life.

The books I have read have shaped my thoughts and feelings, my character and my actions, at an internal core so deep that only God understands what goes on there. The events and people that command my attention and involvement have shaped me, too, even as I’ve played a part in shaping them. This is the unstoppable ruckus of RL and its constant development.

I pause to write now and then, as I’ve done since I was a child, because the activity of writing is for me actually an activity of thinking. Writing slows down the thought process, helps me to think with more awareness of what I’m thinking, helps me to examine what’s happening at that unseen deep core, perhaps to understand it better.

But much as I need these occasional fits of writing, I don’t need them the way I need other more immediate things. If there’s an occasional gap in the writing, that’s okay, the activity of RL is still going on and still doing its work of shaping who I am becoming. And eventually, there will always be slower moments when I can return to writing. Maybe one of those slower moments is coming along now.

As to the three-month gap, it’s not going to be filled. Let’s just hop over it and keep on going.

Advertisements